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Results Rundown - 18/11/2019

Results Rundown - 18/11/2019

James Marshall18 Nov 2019 - 11:23
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Disappointing day for the 1s

1st XV: Stroud 51-13 OBs

A 51-13 loss is not the game you want to write a match report for. F or that matter, not one you’d want to win BOG for either, especially as you’d been pulled off after 30 minutes, having completed a grand old job gaining some symmetry between mutant, torn bicep arm on the right with now mutant, torn bicep arm on the left. Lucky the three times I measured for the new Old Bs jacket resulted in three wildly different results meaning that having disfigured upper arms will be least of my problems.

Requiring a lift to Stroud brought my first personal challenge of the day. I entered the lift lottery, fully aware that what’s app tumbleweed was primed. Fortunately good club men were saturating South Bristol and Matty Law was the unlucky one to sign up to tepid chat and poor directions Ed - who was supplying which?.

Captain Willacy was instantly encouraged when arriving in the changing room to finally see some pubey slugs on the top lips of a few of the boys after two solid weeks of growth in aid of Movember and Operation Yew Tree.

Oliver Hazell arrived shortly after, not sporting a tash, but instead sporting a white wine and oysters hangover (how very OB). As Oli splattered the Stroud urinal with Bristol’s finest oysters, the rest of the team attempted to drown out the noise with some adrenaline pumping tracks (I just had sex by Lonely Island featuring Akon).

Against all belief, Saturday had provided us with a weak glimpse of sunshine peeking out through a thin veil of cloud. There had been bold claims throughout the week of turning over top of the table this week and a strong lineup for Bs meant there was no reason not to play with confidence, energy and tempo from the start. And that we did!

Stroud were slow to turn up and we took full advantage of this with some aggressive defence resulting in a strip of the ball and a Louis Frank gather and slog through treacle to score first blood for Bs. Stroud were quick to return the favour with the hound defensive line being caught on the back foot with a sprightly fullback who carved through for the equalising score.

Stroud's pack were large and muscular as Fison couldn’t help but noticing in the showers afterwards. “They all have really muscular backs as opposed to our fat backs.” I couldn’t help but think this statement would have been far more useful feedback during our end of game huddle when we were analysing our current squad issues.

Fat backs aside, these boys were big and this rather helped their scrum. Our line out fired for a bit, but died on its ass and was generally just a thoroughly disappointing affair. This is why actual rugby commentary should be outright banned from match reports!

After promises of early team selections, team run through on a Thursday and chunked, targeted play mentality the mood had brightened back in the changing room despite the lack of premium lager.

Jamie Duncan, Cynical George and Andy Goode/George Hazell were rocking out to the tunes in one corner, James Melon was being amicably encouraged to wash the shirts in his brand new washing machine in the other. Presumably if it does an effective job, Melon will be keen to take on this responsibility more regularly with his brand new machine.

Merkin Corner was flaunting it’s usual colourful variety with Gouldy working a stylised undercut. Thanks to Coughlan for being another great Club guy and driving me to the train station (Uber and Ola don’t run in Stroud - who knew!?) and Morgs who was so buzzing for Blackpool episode of Strictly even bought a round in!

One benefit of an ever growing collection of squad injuries is that we may well start building up a solid contingent of support on the sidelines for this weeks game at home against Avonmouth. Kick off at 1430 for Simon Hunt and any other rascals who don’t read the weekly bulletins but will sit on the bog Tuesday morning reading this. Shame on you.

Final Score: Stroud 51-13 OBs
Tries: Clarke; Frank
Cons:
Pens: Gall-o-way (1)
BOG: Pikey

Further reading