Results Rundown - 14.09.2019

Results Rundown - 14.09.2019

By James Marshall
18 September
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Another defeat for the 1s, but victory for the 2s and a new recipient of the hallowed Pink Cap


1st XV - OBs 17-26 Chipping Sodbury
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Pub Golf 2019

The whistle blew and that was the game.

Eventful, one to be talked about throughout the generations.

After the contentious agreement we’d trial some Beethoven in the changing room, the symphonies were distinctly lacking.

Jack Paffet was sporting an the abstract number in Merkin Corner whilst Tom, Rob and Jon Hill’s Brazilian was really getting there.

There were an unusual amount of WAGs at the game on Saturday, which I can only attribute to Louis’ starting place being plastered all over Instagram. The combination of players, ladies and Captain Willacy Snr aka Tiger Willacy (1) made for a jovial atmosphere.

Andreas was in his typically chatty mood, once he’d established that Fison’s fiancé was not his sister and that being late to Pub Golf was not a good idea he was set for the night. Despite this Andreas never made pub golf, I can only assume fear of Pub Golf giants; James Marshall and Cameron Milne put the willies up him.

Nothing else of event occurred during supper, certainly no female made direct reference to Natchy events in dark parks thus clearly undermining the clandestine affair and placing any loose lipped boyfriends in hot water.

Alas, I forget myself. This is a match report after all, so to the game!

Hole-One, as tradition dictates began at the White Lion. There was queuing at the bar similar to a rugby club on a minis Sunday morning. One golfing spectator felt it their responsibility to bring the bar back to some form of order so jumped the queue and duly waited 20 minutes to be served.

There was a strong element of sartorial elegance on display in the garden with our very own Chunk representing both golf and wrestling (2). Tardiness was at an all-time low this year with the only late comer being the Pub Golf Organiser himself James Adley! James arrived and for some unexplained reason only printed out the score cards with the first two holes printed on them.

To make matters worse for Mr Adley, he had forgotten to organise group discounts on the golf round so ended up lightening his own wallet for the final and booking himself a central spot in February’s social. See you in court Mr Adley.

This aside, James organised a grand round of golf and should be wholly commended (just to clarify my comments have nothing to do with the fact his wife is my boss). The round really was a delightful one, with some beautiful shots made by a selective group of great gentlemen. It was a real shame Joe’s Pops couldn’t convince him to “play the course and show those southern pussies how it was done” as I feel like he definitely had a shot at the coveted pink cap.

Highlights of the day included:
● Prior to tee-off, someone for Chipping Sodbury commented on it not being wedding season but in fact tampon season and then having Fison ask him to explain what exactly that even meant and Fison not getting punched.
● Sitting out in the sun before the Golf feeling like we were bunking as Shane was late orchestrating the Redland/Easton, Louis vs Fison, Team pick, Breathalyser Crawl
● Being allowed to spectate the Pub Golf without participation.
● Chanting through the Natch hole. Well done Sean for taking the victory there. I guess it’s 50/50 whether we’ll ever actually see you again.
● I actually received a phone call from our very own Welsh Nugget- Tom Gould during the Natch hole as he wanted to inform me of his imminent return. I for one am extremely excited for the possibility of some sort of nugget off between the Welsh Nugget, the Gloucester Nugget and then if we could get the Doug Nugget back in the fold that could make for a great three-way, run it straight.
● Having my bike stolen and returned again (3).
● As Trez put it Cameron- “Fulfilling his long-awaited destiny” before perfectly blending into his surroundings. (4)
● Our very own National Treasure: CHUNK (5)

Final Score: OBs 17-26 Chipping Sodbury
Tries: Clarke; J. Hill; Higgs
BOG: Pikey
Pub Golf Winner: Cam

2nd XV: Dings Crusaders (3rds) 15-57 OBs
Tries: Marcus (4); Magnus (2); G. Morgan; Abe; Brid*
BOG: Johnny Waugh**

* -One of these reprobates has claimed a try belonging to HRD. I am sure that all will become clear by Court.

** - Note the lack of match report. The judge's notebook is starting to look very full after only two weeks of games

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