With "all!!!" (according to Shane) the stag dos and weddings done for the year, OBs faced Matson at home, in a league and cup double header for the second year in a row. Matson used their home win over OBs last year to reach the RFU Level 7 cup final at Twickenham.

The changing room on arrival was humming with excitement, although the excitement wasn't rugby related, as Schnollie was dishing out free bottles of olive flavoured [Ed - I presume you mean scented, unless you were engaged in a weird pre-match ritual shower gel and manuka honey face scrub. The members of the 1st team squad over 30 were in even more of a froth over the minced snail face masks which were being kept for them. How lucky we are to have an environmental waste disposal business owner at the club.......

Kyle and his highlights explained how he had had a terrible week which started with missing his plane home from Bury's stag do (many casino nights were visited), after which he bought a new ticket to Manchester, a train ride home before heading straight into a 14 hour work day followed by a phone call with his Mrs (apparently nobody wants that), and this was only his Monday.

The warm up was reasonably intense although concerns were regularly raised about how hard and drippy our rugby boners were? Morgs and the skipper gave a good pre-match team talk before taking the field.

The game was the usual kaleidoscope of running rugby, odd decisions and shit-housery which reached zenith on the hour mark with Matt Law stepping through a broken field when ten meters from their line before being clothes-lined by their tight head, who received a yellow. OBs were up against a streetwise opponent who never let us get into our game.

With skipper Willacy looking for sponsorship for Movember (see OBs WhatsApp group) he asked his dad of "I could win pub golf" fame to provide a picture of a clean shaven Joe; which he did, and picture of eco warrior Geta Thunberg who is apparently a good lookalike of a clean shaven Joe.

Having now seen the picture of the clean shaven skipper the chaps pitched in with a few other ideas:
• Fred West
• Is Greta your next victim?
• How many others are under your patio?
• The two of you together look like a challenged Bonnie and Clyde.

Merkin Corner
Fairly decent standards in the 1st team at the moment.

Final Score: OBs 12-32 Matson
Tries: Green; Colton
Cons: Galloway (1)
Pens: -
BOG: Colton

===

3rd XV: OBs 64-0 Bristol Saracens

Following a week of heavy rain it was a pleasant sight to see the pitch still in good condition, and even better to see that we had 15 men. Our pre-match preparation saw the introduction of a number of new faces and a strong recruitment drive to secure a couple of seasoned pros from the Vets to bolster our bench for the second half.

A clean take from kickoff, followed by a well kicked penalty shortly after provided us with a strong initial platform to mount our first attack. A few phases later and we were over for our first of many tries.

With solid set piece, and silky hands from the backline we managed to get over the line for another couple of scores. Quick service from George and a string of carries from both the backline and the forwards brought us 40 points clear by half time.

Saracens started the second half much faster than the previous and looked increasingly likely to get a score themselves. With a solid defence on our 5m line and a couple of crucial turnovers, Saracens left our 22 empty handed.

Not long after the final whistle of the Vets game had blown, it was time for a couple of them to put another shift in to help the 3s out. Our set piece dominance continued throughout the game and provided the backs clean ball, which they managed to spread wide and score in the corners. A strong kicking performance from Marcus extended our lead further, with 7 successful conversions out of 10.

Overall, a good day of rugby for the 3s and great to get the W.

Final Score: OBs 64-0 Bristol Saracens
Tries: Marcus (2); Eoin (3); Ross (2); Mac; Finn; George
Cons: Marcus (7)
BOG: Eoin

===

Vets: OBs 50-25 St Brendan's

OBs has a great relationship with St.Bs from the fact that a number of OBs' stalwarts and VGCM coach there, and also in general they're a lovely bunch, so we were delighted when their captain, tasked with (re)forming the Vets side asked about the possibility of a fixture.

We had pretty good numbers (subject to the normal random dropout rate) so agreed that if they had fewer than 15 we'd bolster, and duly Tim King and Sam Hawke (both of whom coach there) happily agreed to play for them.

Interestingly, at one point OBs had 7 front row in the squad, which is more than is often available to the entire club Ed - New recruits for Front Row Curry Club?!. Rugby availability truly is a rollercoaster.

We had some debutants - Chris, Richard and (as a bonus surprise in the car park) French Matt. Welcome and glad to have them on board, as our bench went from 8 on Friday to the three of them come kick-off...

Excitingly the Sesh/Mark/Munsie trio were in, which makes for good chat and self-depreciating ability. (Not sure if I mean ability to be self-deprecating or ability in spite of being self-depreciating. Probably both).

Even better, Sesh's whole family were there to watch with Mum and Dad enjoying the spectacle of their son upholding the core RFU value of referee respect.

Wayne also was back in, and we decided to put him at second row, mainly to stop him steamrolling anyone from 8 especially having promised St Bs a 'social' game. Also welcomed back Pete Blackman, who claimed that he'd only last 10 minutes, but then when he had to start looked like he was enjoying himself very much indeed.

The theme of being self deprecating also seemed to extend to the St B's boys as well, as they had a useful group of players, and although OBs scored early and the scoreline ended up flattering OBs a little, it was a damn good game.

Highlights:
Great winger's try from the welcome return of the very rapid Charlie A in the first minutes.
Tim King 'it's only a scratch' with an open headwound ("not worth taping up") playing at flank.
Absolutely vintage show-and-go from Ted which he duly finished off, from about the halfway.
Yarks being class. And actually on that note Frogget and Ed seem to be cut from a similar cloth... a joy to watch.
Wayne seemed to be determined to confound expectation by instead of thundering through people, he was determined to show his soft offload skills, which was probably for the best all around.
Garth, freed from no9 duties clearly reveling in space - some great photos where you can see St B's players flying past him. And duly scoring a hat-trick, possibly just to make the point that he might be a little wasted at scrum half...
Peaches lasting a game (I believe). This truly is a highlight for us and him.
Charlie putting in a frankly terrible clearance kick only to then chase it up himself and execute a beautiful textbook tackle to redeem himself.
In fact, despite the claims of exhaustion and unfitness, there was bloody good rugby played on both sides throughout, and at all times it was played in great spirit. Apart from Sesh's tourettes. But he is ginger.
PG's "ignoring the huge overlap outside him" try, I didn't see, but could imagine his mutley-like chuckle as he dived over.
I'm not sure if it was the tactic of putting PG at skipper to stop him winding up the ref (in that at least he was therefore theoretically allowed to question the ref's decisions, calls, thoughts and general demeanour), but in the bar afterwards it was Sesh who was buying the apology beer for once.

In terms of Best on Ground, Ferg had a great game, as did Yarks and Munsie in the backs (except for Munsie's drop goal conversion which was rubbish) - but Tim King stood out as being cheerfully relentless so edged it on those grounds. Their dread-locked aussie was worth a mention too - joyfully smashing everything that came near him.