Tough Vets game but for a great cause

BRISTOL SARACENS V OLD BRISTOLIANS VETS

BAKEWELL MEMORIAL GROUND 07.10.2023 7.30 PM

This was a perfect night for rugby: soft ground, good floodlighting, mild weather and a fair smattering of supporters. Most of the crowd of 150 or so were there for a Huntington’s Disease fundraiser in memory of one of the Sarries’ players which lent a serious tone to proceedings without in any way dampening people’s enjoyment.

It was immediately apparent that they had some youngish (without being u35, obviously), largeish players – without disparaging the excellent players who turned out for OB’s in any way; younger, and definitely larger, than us. Their lineout practice looked like the armies of Mordor practicing rampart scaling.

Consequently, I was delighted to spend the first half running the touchline and avoiding some shattering collisions. The OBs starting XV put in a huge effort and apart from a couple of forgivable absences in defence, which should put down to rustiness, did amazingly well.

Sarries’ direct running and ferocious handing-off took its toll and a pattern of determined back foot defence and occasional break-out attacks was soon adopted by OBs. The back row of Millard, Watts and Hullis all did really well to contain most of their tight drives and to slow down the hosts’ ball.

From the comfort of the touchline it looked as though the Sarries’ back row, centres and a nuggety right winger had played far more together than we had and were able to recycle the ball a fraction quicker initially, and then much more rapidly as the half progressed.

I discovered after the game that one of the Sarries centres was an ex-Bristol and Fiji player, so a tricky early season opponent for anyone and his centre partner was a real wrecking ball of man and took a lot of stopping. Although he was stopped, it was usually at the second or third attempt.

The starting front row of Mick Cataldo and Sam Hawke propping with Ben Hawkins swinging a boot were giving away about another player’s weight to their opponents. They had their work cut out and all put in a hell of a shift. Sarries’ second rows were both good scrummagers and probably weighed in at 18-19 stones a-piece. Our boiler house of Casagrande and Watts may not have had the ballast to match them but they were better in the air.

There was a moment about five minutes into the game when a miscued kick flew straight into the arms of their larger second row, leading to a thunderous run and fend, literally launching the first OB to attempt a tackle backwards and upwards off his feet and over. And then a second. Only the third and fourth defenders brought him down as he lost speed. The airborne would-be defender bounced back up and back into the fray admirably (I was unable to see who it was on the far side of the pitch) and I think the ball was then stripped by Garth or Ted. High octane stuff.

With a stroke of comic genius Trez had selected a Fake Hawko to play scrum half just in case Hawko didn’t turn up. I think he’s called Jeff Thomson. Anyway, the real Hawko was drunk in a hedge somewhere and the fake turned out to be pretty decent. He’s gobby enough to be the real deal and coped well under a fair amount of pressure. Outside him Szkoda, Hannaford, Adam and Shepherd made a lot of the scraps we lived off and tackled heroically.

Ted didn’t break out of his customary jog but still managed to meander his way forward while finding time to distribute intelligently despite the attentions of multiple Sarries per carry for more meters than ever looked possible. Must be annoying to play open side against. Less is more.

We got into promising positions only to run out of the support needed to continue the move a few times, which was frustrating and encouraging in equal measure – frustrating because their try line beckoned more than once as moves were snuffed out, but encouraging because it won’t happen in a game or two’s time when we will definitely score some stylish tries. Rustiness.

They inevitably scored a few good tries in the first half, particularly in the closing minutes, but to their great credit the starting OBs stayed in the fight for the whole 40 and did the club proud. Gareth and Zonks came on midway to help shore up the mid-field overall OBs started to look the better side, but for one breakaway try. Indeed after some sustained pressure, Ben Hawkins also managed to batter his way over for a well-deserved try, which had a strong rallying effect on the team.

The second half, but for one atrocious piece of indiscipline (about which more later) was a more genteel affair. Thank goodness, because I was brought on and I am not ashamed to say that I winced as I watched some of the first half collisions.

The main difference between the two halves was Sarries’ substitutions: they rested their very good centres and front row making life considerably easier for OBs and also starving the better winger of ball. This is not to say life was easy for the OBs in the second period; just not as tough as the first. Sarries deserve a respectful mention for not making a mismatch of it and retaining the spirit of the fixture.

There were a few talking points, by far the most enjoyable being a scrap between one of their enormous bearded second rows and – I think – TT (beg his pardon if not, but to be honest he probably did plenty of other things I missed and Trez also thinks it was mainly down to him).

The second rower was taken out off the ball at a restart with a pretty decent shot by TT and then dived into the ensuing ruck with a little more vigour than seemed to be merited before having a bit of a squeeze and tumble with TT. The referee blew and – again identity could be sketchy here – he then lashed out from the ground with a trunk-like BCFC emblazoned limb connecting with (possibly) Matthew from The Ravens. Matthew and / or Ben Watts then dived in and clobbered the by now apoplectic second rower.

Whoever it was got away with it and when the referee administered the appropriate bollockings and their second row whinged “but he twisted my ankle sir”, which was a pity because some of the respect his aforementioned hard work had earned him evaporated, as did he, and TT, who were both given their marching orders. I am pretty sure the card was more for the whinging than anything else and TT was given just an equaliser by the ref for good measure.

I have been told by Trez to quash the nasty rumour which was circulating later in the bar that everyone thought it was a really good deal for us and wished we’d done it earlier. Outrageous!

For the record: TT played well and may also have scored a try, though it may just as easily have been Garth. Everyone forgot because of TT-gate. ***Correction - it was actually Bart. Who played the whole game and overall was huge***

They were joined at the interval by Ettery, Burrows, Bickford, King and slightly later, Fraser who all had good games and were a good match for the second half Sarries. Janek also returned and enjoyed his more customary role at 10 far more than trying to stop battering rams in the centres. Third XV skipper Chunk also starred in the second half and made some good surging runs as well as keeping up his end of the scrum, though he confided in me afterwards that he doesn’t like playing loose head.

It was also good to see Killer and Gav Hooper spectating. Trez please note that Gav promised to play in all future games this season.

In other news; Chunk brought a ghetto blaster into the changing room after the game, which seemed very ‘young’ in a Vets changing room, but to offset the youngness he was playing American chanteuse Christina Aguilera’s 1999 hit Genie in a Bottle. Vets will remember that Christina tells us of her pent up genie-ness:

Waiting for someone who needs me
Hormones racing at the speed of light but that don't mean it's gotta be tonight (yeah)
Oh... w-h-o-a...
My body's saying let's go)

This was the exact opposite of my feelings about coming on in the second half. Although the rest of the chorus gets it about right:

Oh... w-h-o-a... ooh...
But my heart is saying no (no)
(But my heart is saying no)

Hot stuff. Our tunnel performance was much like the game; a bit rusty but wholehearted and effective. The outward peel just didn’t have the fluidity you would expect of a Vets tunnel. Sarries were also a bit clunky and formed a second tunnel after ours where they should really have gone first. Some good comradely photographs were taken of both teams together which have been circulated already.

The after-match gathering was enjoyable. There was an 80s-type disco (Chunk’s tunes dovetailed nicely), good food and bar service. All of this was much appreciated by the decent batch of OBs who stayed on afterwards.

Sarries were excellent hosts and seemed to enjoy our generosity on and off the pitch.

The referee was great, kept the game flowing and dealt with TT-gate incident nicely after pausing to ensure that all of its comic value had been extracted.

Despite my early misgivings this was a great start to the season and everyone I spoke to afterwards was injury-free and keen for another run-out soon.

Huge thanks to Trez for organising the game and for drumming up enthusiasm in the ranks with his regular WhatsApps even though illness prevented him playing. Well done Captain.

FINAL SCORE 43 - 12